Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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