At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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