Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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