So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
