I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
