I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
