Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
