I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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