Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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