Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
