So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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