You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
