Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she told me i tasted like america
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
