i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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