1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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