I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
