so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
