But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
