What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
