I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
