Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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