Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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