Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
