Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
