I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Let's paint friendship bongs
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
