You're my little dorito
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
