everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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