She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
