Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i already hear my dad disowning me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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