Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
