why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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