I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
