I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
