Where are you?
In a non slutty way
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
