Non-Jews are for practice
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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