Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
