Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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