sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
