I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
