I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
