shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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