so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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