Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she smelled like a LAN party
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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