I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
