We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
