garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm too high and old for this...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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