Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you will always have a special place in my vag
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
