Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
