Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
