is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
