Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
