We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
