No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
