After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
