i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
