You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
