So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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