I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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