Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
