Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
