You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
