$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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