Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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