can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
