I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize