i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
