see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
