it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
