Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My vagina is officially offended.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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