I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
