im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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