If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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