he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
