i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
