Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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