First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
